By Michael Hopcroft, Contributing Writer
Do you suffer from mental illness?”
“No, Doctor. I enjoy every minute of it!”
Of course, nobody really enjoys being mentally ill. But this very old joke illustrates something vital about coping with any disability: having a sense of humor about it, and about life in general, is vital if you are going to survive it.
Humor can be many things to a person with mental illness. Humor can be a refuge from self-doubt. It can be a safe way to interact with other people, especially friends. It can be reinforcement at times when the illness appears ready to overwhelm you. Humor makes life more livable.
For example, frequenting Web sites where I get to express my sense of humor is a vital outlet for me personally. I rarely joke about my condition, but joke more about the condition of the world we live in.
Frequently it feels like it is the world that is mad and I am the only one I know who is sane. I find gentle barbs are better than harsh ones, and saying something humorously makes it easier to get my point across. It doesn’t blunt the point – indeed, frequently making people laugh is the only way to get them to listen to you!
If you have friends you can share a laugh with in person, so much the better! Isolation is one of the worst parts of mental illness — the feeling that you are not a part of the world but are outside it, looking in through dark glass. Friendship alleviates this. It shows you are not alone, that there are other people dealing with the same problem whom you can learn from and who can learn from you.
Comedy in the media is another good coping mechanism, but not everybody has the same taste in humor. I personally consider what many people today find funny in movies abhorrent. The older films I favor are not favored by others, who just don’t “get it.” Individuality, and expressing your individuality, is a good thing.
Remember: as much as people may try to tell you otherwise, you are not your diagnosis! Every person is a whole person; it’s just that some of us have more troubles than others. Denying yourself life because of a label that has been placed on you, no matter how accurate that label may be, is a pathway to self-denial. Denying life will only make you miserable.
I can’t speak from experience for everybody with a diagnosis of mental illness. But I can relate from my own experience that recognizing life’s absurdities for what they are has helped me immeasurably. Whenever I visit a doctor and they ask how I’m doing, I will say something like “Not that good, or I wouldn’t be here.”
That usually gets a chuckle from them, which is good for me because I feel that it helps me deal with whatever I’m seeing the doctor for. I will observe things when I am with my friends and do it in a humorous way if I possibly can; it makes me more comfortable.
Everyone has goals. I used to think the universe was a bad joke. Now I find it a fairly amusing joke. Eric Idle’s song, “Life is quite absurd, and death’s the final word. You must always face the curtain with a bow” has helped me get through some hard times.
I encourage you to look at the absurdities and frustrations of your own life as transitory, something you can laugh at later once the crisis has passed.
Michael Hopcroft is a board member of the Mental Health Association of Portland, a nonprofit advisory organization that supports advocacy efforts on issues around mental health. Information about their work is available at www.mentalhealthportland.org.