Gemini (May 21–June 20) Observed the stars from the waterfront and bumped into a Park Ranger. Those are some friendly people. Soup Can sees this as a sign that change does bring good things.
Cancer (June 21-July 22) Where did all of your dust bunnies come from? There are in the hall, closet, under the desk, in your socks. Sweep them away. And bring a tissue.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) There are rats in the subways. And you thought your city had problems. I’d take rain over the bubonic plague, any day. Cheer up, get a vitamin D lamp.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Tulips! Fields of clover! Poppies! Bloomers, everywhere (not the type you wear). Time to go out and explore, with no worries of a Wicked Witch of the West trying to put you to sleep.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Sorry if Soup Can seems a little distracted lately, but we’ve been busy here at HQ trying to put the finishing touches on a deal to sell our new street blogging platform, SoupCanr, to a big-name tech company. Fingers crossed!
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 22) The floor feels springy. Hold onto a friend, a drink, or the nearest stationary object to avoid motion sickness.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 23) I’m sorry, but due to unforeseen budget cuts, your horoscope is unavailable at this time. Please try again later.
Capricorn (Dec. 24-Jan. 19) The Summer Solstice isn’t far away. Soup Can sees more sunlight in your near future. But pack wisely — there’s always a good chance of rain.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Don’t get discouraged when others ridicule your ideas. For years, Soup Can’s workshop overflowed with design plans for a voice-activated, wearable computer. At the time, people laughed, but it turns out we were way ahead of the curve with Soup Can Glasses™.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) Saturn is still in retrograde this week. In an unrelated note, this might be high time to fix those brakes.
Aries (March 21-April 19) Soup Can is inspired by Rahim Moore, you could get over it too.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) Follow your heart. But take a compass, because it has lousy navigational skills. Know your true north always.