Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Concrete actually never really dries. Fifty years could pass and there is still a fraction of water inside. A teensy fraction! That means it can expand and contract, adjust to the changing seasons and actually get stronger with age. Same goes for you too: the tiniest fraction can make all the difference in the world.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) There isn’t a gopher in Texas who hasn’t been where you are right now. Tough it up, buckaroo, and stop digging.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Eat no foods that contain the word “gum.” Soup Can is inclined to add “this month,” but it really is good advice 365.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Your love of expensive 17-inch, spinning chrome wheelskins is going to wane the latter part of the month. No one will notice.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) There’s never been a better time to stop planning!
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Miley Cyrus will forgive you. But you have to forgive yourself first.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) You can move it around, shuffle the deck and even sleep on it, but it isn’t going to go away. Homelessness ends with a home, not a settlement.
Aries (March 21-April 19) You’re not allowed to wear rollerskates into restrooms in Portland. So plan ahead before you leave home. And before you even think about it — it is also illegal in Oregon to leave a container of human fecal matter on the side of the highway.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) Food carts are nice, but they don’t solve problems. So don’t take your cue from city hall. Distractions are easy to come by. Solutions are tough.
Gemini (May 21-June 20) Who knew Portland had so many sewers or that they would all need repairing at the same time? Detour your detour and check out a whole new part of town.
Cancer (June 21-July. 22) Shine more, polish less.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Butter will never let you down.