Aries (March 21–April 19) If I was a shorty, I would love it if my parents went to PHUKET for vacay so I could keep pronouncing it wrong on purpose in front of them.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) There are so many broken systems from the economy to school systems jail systems … We need experts for this. My area of expertise is in music, my passion is in music design film and products … My strength is connectivity …
Gemini (May 21-June 20) Instead of kicking kids out of schools for using there iPhones… why not promote it? Allow kids to use search engines to do tests.
Cancer (June 21-July 22) Good logic tells me smile Kanye… the world likes you again… red or blue pill? … aaaaand Swallow lol
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Sometimes my grammar is wrong but my thinking is right : )
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) I don’t want to see any movie that doesn’t have mind blowing special effects… #EVERAGAIN
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Persimmons are in season… grown off of ebony trees… I think the ones I’m snacking on came from Argentina #Equatorial
Scopio (Oct. 23-Nov. 22) Ok, what does Rock the Casbah mean exactly?
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 23) Why do memories always make you wanna say… seems like only yesterday… (that kind of ryhmes if you use an old school flow)
Capricorn (Dec. 24-Jan. 19) No way Spirited Away is better than Akira… NOOO WAAAY… sorry was just looking at a youtube of top 10 anime films
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) ... Being a celebrity has afforded me many opportunities but has also boxed me in creatively.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20`) I hate khaki cargo shorts. I Hate big ass striped scarves. I hate long ass sideburns with the line up RnB beard. ... We need scientist and top world designers to directly affect governments.
This article is part of Street Roots' annual satire edition released each year for April Fools Day.