Aries (March 21–April 19) It’s a strange world. If you know up from down this month, then you are well ahead of the rest of us. Stick with that.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) It’s spring. BTW, it’s not. It’s still gloomy and wet and cold. At least the flowers are blooming. Take the good with the bad this month.
Gemini (May 21-June 20) Just when you think you’ve got it figured out, then you don’t. This cycle will repeat itself for days, months and sometimes years until the day you die. Get used to it and do the best you can.
Cancer (June 21-July 22) When all else fails, eat pot brownies.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Light a candle this month for someone you love. Soup Can doesn’t know if this will make any difference, but what the hell.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Pull up your trousers and dust off your boots this month. Don’t forget that you’ve only got few short moments on this crazy rock.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Don’t get lost in your own BS this week. If you can do that then you’re doing A-OK.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 22) Stop. Put down your phone. Actually speak to a friend, a family member, a stranger. It doesn’t matter. Just try to engage. Google will be there waiting for you after a good conversation. Soup Can promises.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 23) Finding yourself these days kind of feels like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You aren’t alone. If we look together we might stick together. Wear gloves.
Capricorn (Dec. 24-Jan. 19) If you can make it through the month without dropping your cell phone in the toilet, you’re doing just fine. Don’t set the bar too high.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Don’t be afraid to dance with the ghosts of your past this month. Don’t stay too long though, the future awaits your bright sun shiny mind.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20`) This week is going to be a long and twisted tale. Embrace yourself.