Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) You are such a sloppy perfectionist. Always wanting more, more, more of people. Standards. Sheesh. Make sure to look in the mirror, seriously.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Oh, stop being so passive aggressive already. We get it. You want one thing and ask for another. Make yourself clear this month. Everyone around you will appreciate it and give you lots of love in return.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 22) Scorpio. Life is a shit show and then some. You’re just going to have to accept that sometimes life throws you curveballs and that you’re going to have make the best of it. So make the best of it already.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 23) You’ve only got a few weeks left of the sunshine. Better get your things in order and don’t waste a second inside. Soak up the sun this month. You’re going to need it.
Capricorn (Dec. 24-Jan. 19) I don’t now if Soup Can can give you any good advice for what’s you got shaking lately. Keep your heart full of love and your eyes clear. Don’t accept the status quo.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Better get your hands and feet in the dirt this month. You’ll have plenty of time to gain your strength in the rain in the coming months water baby. Dry it out.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) You are such a proud little monkey. Remember though, you’re still a monkey. Try not to crap where you eat and you’ll be fine.
Aries (March 21-April 19) Wind, fire, water and air. Yes, yes, Soup Can gets it. Enough with all the spiritual jargon, Aries. Throw your instincts to the wind this month and do something out of the ordinary. You’ll love yourself for it.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) You are so damn stubborn. Stubborn to the point of shooting yourself in the foot. Stop. Shooting. Yourself. In. The. Foot. That’s all.
Gemini (May 21-June 21) It’s OK to be wrong. The reality is collectively the entire human race has been getting it wrong all along. Don’t fret though. It’s only life after all. Take it one step at a time and do that thing that you do so well. Your wisdom and experience is needed. Don’t get caught in the half empty glass. Life can be full to the brim.
Cancer (June 22-July. 22) Soup Can knows it’s hard being bat shit crazy. But, hey, you’re a Cancer and that’s what the world gave you. Use it wisely and inspire others to live and let live. Crazy or not, you have some mad skills after falling down and scrapping your knees time and again. You’re loved and respected. Own it.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Don’t act the fool and you’ll be fine.