MELBOURNE, Australia – The yellow brick house sits on a sunny corner block. With an expansive green lawn, neat flower beds and a winding path to the front door, it’s like any other suburban family home. Inside, a cozy living room is filled with knickknacks and an overstuffed, well-worn couch. A tidy kitchen that’s seen countless family dinners overlooks the back garden.
This is the Australian home of Philomena. She is a bundle of energy and a straight-talker. Together with her husband, Victor, she has spent her lifetime raising three children. They are now adults and have moved out to start their own families. After a long illness, Victor died earlier this year.
Today, Philomena, who is in her 70s, lives with 20-year-old Rakesh, an international student from Malaysia who is studying nursing at a nearby college. It may seem like an unconventional arrangement, but they were brought together thanks to Homeshare, a program that matches householders in need with people who are willing to lend a hand – perhaps with cooking, cleaning and doing the food shopping – in return for accommodation. Householders might be elderly people who prefer to stay in their own home instead of a retirement facility or people living with a disability. The Homesharers, as they are referred to, are often younger and looking for affordable accommodation.
Rakesh has little income and no family in Australia, so living with Philomena provides him with more than accommodation. For Philomena, it means having help around the house. But the benefits of this arrangement go deeper: Philomena refers to Rakesh as her adopted son. Most importantly, loneliness is kept at bay for both of them.
Homesharing is a global trend that’s growing in popularity. Also known as cross-generational co-living, there are many examples of similar living arrangements scattered throughout the world.
Humanitas Deventer, a retirement home in the Netherlands, gives university students free accommodation in exchange for 30 volunteer hours a month to “act as neighbors” to the elderly residents. It’s become a runaway success.
In the Spanish port city of Alicante, the government provides affordable housing for two age groups, people 65 or older and young adults 35 or younger. In return, the young tenants are required to assist an elderly person by dedicating four hours a week to them.
In the United States, CoAbode connects single mothers with the purpose of sharing a home and raising their children together.
Similarly, Homeshare Melbourne is aiming to extend the Homeshare model to include people who are struggling in the current rental market.
“Our target is asylum seekers, refugees, young people on limited income, women over the age of 55 and women fleeing family violence,” said Carla Raynes, Homeshare Melbourne senior coordinator. “There are lots of people out there who would make amazing housemates; it’s just that they need to be given that opportunity. And we want these relationships to be mutually beneficial. We’re working with a couple of asylum seeker programs. There is a looming crisis. The Australian government is cutting the benefits of some asylum seekers, and we think more than 7,600 people will be facing destitution. It’s going to put a huge strain on homelessness services.”
Rakesh is the third Homesharer that Philomena has welcomed into her home. The first arrived when Victor fell ill.
“That’s how I came to have Sukrit,” she said. “He was studying for his master’s at the time, and the three of us were living together in this house. He used to take my husband to rehab. After Sukrit came Lala, a Chinese girl from Tibet. I used to teach her English. I keep in touch with both of them. They are part of my family, and I’m a part of their family.”
Rakesh said that he and Philomena clicked the first time they met.
“Compared to renting, it’s cheaper because you’re only paying for utilities,” he said. “You also have emotional support when you come back home. This is a foreign country, so, for international students like me, it’s good to have someone close by.”
“Rakesh and I laugh all the time. Don’t we, darling?” Philomena interrupted. “He does all the cooking.”
“I make a lot of Indian food, Malaysian food,” Rakesh added.
“He’s a great cook. For his age, he’s so focused. We have a great relationship. We talk; we laugh; we eat together. To me, this has been the best thing ever. He just sleeps too much!” Laughter filled the room. Their bond is undeniable.
For family members, having someone living with their elderly relative is also a safety net of sorts.
“Homeshare is an extra circle of comfort that reassures family members,” said Tom Kenneally, a Homeshare consultant from Uniting, an Australian service organization affiliated with the Uniting Church.
This is certainly the case for 89-year-old Cecilia. She arrived in Melbourne from South Africa almost 50 years ago, and her only family in Australia is a younger sister. With the rest of her siblings back in South Africa and following a recent health scare, Cecilia would have to move into an aged-care facility. The alternative was to have someone move in with her.
“I’m not ready for a nursing home,” said Cecilia, sitting in her favorite armchair, her walker within arm’s reach. Jean, her first and only Homesharer of three years, sits in a matching armchair beside her.
“I was alone when I got sick. My neighbor saved my life. Since then, I can’t stay on my own anymore. I’m too scared,” Cecilia said. “Then somebody told me about Homeshare. When I met Jean, I told my sister, ‘That’s the girl I want.’ I’m used to living on my own, so it was very hard for me to have somebody. I had to find the right person. She’s been a great help to me.”
For 61-year-old Jean, living with Cecilia is her first Homeshare experience. It was arranged by Care Connect.
“I was in a long-term relationship that fizzled out,” she said. “I have a house in the country, but I’ve worked in the city for many years, and when they told me about Homeshare, I thought I’d give it a go. For me it was pretty simple.”
Jean is unequivocal about how important homesharing is for her. Without Cecilia, she’d have to resign from the job she’s held for the last 40 years and move to an area with limited job prospects.
“I can’t stay in metropolitan Melbourne on my own because of my low income. I just couldn’t afford a property around here,” she said. “There are a lot of people my age who are divorced or separated and who are in a similar position.”
Following Australia’s most recent census, women over the age of 55 were identified as being the fastest-growing demographic experiencing homelessness.
Cecilia and Jean enjoy gardening together, and they occasionally go for a meal or a coffee. If there’s nothing on TV, they will watch old movies Jean buys at the local thrift shop.
“We go for drives sometimes, and we get lost,” Cecilia said with a laugh. “We have a lot of fun. My family thinks the world of Jean.”
The companionship of Homeshare offers an antidote to loneliness – which is on the rise and, according to a U.K. study, is as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It can lead to chronic health issues such as diabetes, increased mental health issues and even early death. A loneliness survey recently published by Swinburne University and the Australian Psychological Society revealed that 1 in 4 Australian adults surveyed felt lonely. Many people, particularly those who are younger, experienced social anxiety. And 30 percent of those surveyed didn’t feel part of a group of friends. In response, the U.K. government recently appointed a minister for loneliness.
Unsurprisingly, it helps to have money if you’d like to connect with people; there is a direct link between being financially disadvantaged and increased feelings of isolation.
Back at Philomena’s house, it’s time for lunch. Together with Rakesh, she begins plating up in the kitchen. A comfortable silence hangs in the air.
“All three Homeshares have been a beautiful experience,” she said. “I have been blessed. In and out, Rakesh is a beautiful person. My whole family adores him.”
She pauses before turning to give him a stern look. “Don’t be too flattered, OK?”
After much laughter, she grows serious again.
“I wouldn’t want my children to go somewhere and not be loved and not be comfortable or cared about,” she said. “It’s a huge thing. Humanity is a huge thing.”
Courtesy of The Big Issue Australia / INSP.ngo